February 4, 2013

The Same Sad Stories - Family Law Practice


On a recent blog post by Rod Dreher on a heartening decision in a difficult family, I noted the following:
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This is an important story, and it happens because the few will the good in their choices.

I see it occasionally, but only occasionally, in my family law practice. For most in the bottom, say 20%, the family is now not usually a source for strength, encouragement, or love, but the child’s first experience of pain, of hatred, and of instability.

Absent vacations, most weeks bring at least one case, if not multiple cases, where a potential new client is a variation on:

1. Trying to get visitation with his child who lives with his ex-girlfriend who has just filed trumped up charges of child or domestic abuse (and who invariably shows up with either mother or new g.f. (inevitably pregnant) in tow); or

2. Trying to get child support from her ex-fling who cannot hold a job and is on drugs at least some of the time, may be violent, and is not likely to show up at any court (and shows up with either Father (in the best cases) or lunkhead #x, who rarely says anything intelligible)).

Both cases usually rely significantly on government aid, rarely have the ability to pay even minimal attorney fees, and almost all will admit, when pressed, that they knew that the former significant other was jobless / violent / had mental instabilities / etc when they slept with him / her. Sadly, I have begun to be able to predict general details of stories based upon who is with the potential client in the waiting room, and this is with fewer than 10 years of practice in the area.

And, statistics aside, these people come from all races and usually comes from broken homes, many from multiple-broken homes, where they have seen a series of step-fathers and mothers. And when the children of such homes become teens, knowing that they have power to affect custody, will play one parent against the other in a bid for looser control, easier rules, more “stuff” and preferred parenting style.

Indiana is 2.3 Billion dollars behind in child support, almost all men. It is not uncommon, in court, to hear discussions in front of the judge of amounts like $10,000, $30,000, or $50,000 owed from one man to multiple offspring with different women.

For those who have read Theodore Dalrymple’s descriptions of the British lower classes, and their lives on drugs, sex, alcohol, and government support, our next generation will almost certainly be reaching that level. R.R. Reno is right – true social justice would make some attempts to address these problems, and society would be throwing resources at a targeted few, rather than progressive visions of “health care for all”, “education for all”, “equality of marriage” and so on.
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2 comments:

  1. This is sad. I think one thing fiscal conservatives and social conservatives should be able to agree on is that until we do more to promote marriage our society will continue its sad decline and everyone will pay the price.

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  2. I got yer "promote marriage" right here, Mia Reini. Babies born outside of marriage go straight into sealed-record adoption by stable, heterosexual married parents. No more Make A Baby, Win A Prize social policy. And one high-school girl who returns to class with her pregnancy over and bawling, "They took my bay-bee!" will be an example to 100 more girls that our society no longer considers babies to be the playthings of irresponsible girls. It won't be long before the other girls wise up.

    Former Congressman and House Speaker Newt Gingrich was right about orphanages. Correct, too. Modern ophanages are another option for the rescue of children born to the irresponsible.

    Finally, for homes broken by divorce: presumptive father-only custody. 80% of divorces are initiated by females and for light and transient reasons. Father-only custody will discourage those and most of the other 20% too.

    Yeah, tough love is tough. But it's love and that's better than the slow moral smothering death that is America's maternalistic welfare state.

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