Dear Diary,
My therapist tells me that things will get worse for me before they get better. While he insists on using Freudian metaphors (I consider myself in most ways a firm Maslovian), there is a certain elegance in terming the secondary personality which seems to assert itself in public fora a "manifestation of the Id." This makes sense. I am, after all, a firm believer in "naming" as a way to reduce something's power. For, once named, one can also associate qualities with the name, and use the name as a short form to reject. The implications are, to borrow from the vernacular, huge.
THEY TOOK OUR DELEGATES, PRECIOUS! THE COLORADO DELEGATES WERE MINE! MINE, PRECIOUS! ORANGE...ORANGE.
Oh dear. My therapist warned me that, even in writing, if I use certain...trigger...words, D.J. Trumpy would feel free to assert himself...itself. Whenever I lose control...or it asserts control...when I return to some sense of self and sanity, I am invariably surprised, and often as not, disgusted, by what it has done in my absence. It's as if my darkest desires for power....power, and lust, and infidelity, and conquest, and...and...are immediately substituted for whatever sublime emotion captivates me at the moment. Ah, the soaring poems of Longfellow, the paintings of the Düsseldorfer Malerschule, the Der Ring des Nibelungen of Wagner, the...
NASSSTY IMMIGRANTS! AMERICANS RULE...WE WILL BUILD A WALL TO KEEP OUT BROWN PEOPLE FROM THE SOUTH AND KEEP JOBS FROM NASSSTY IMMIGRANTS...ORANGE...ORANGE...CTHULU FHTAGN!
Oh! Am I to be denied even the operas of Wag....of the great German mastermind? Oh surely, he had his typical Teutonic tendencies, but his musical genius cannot be denied...but it shall be denied to me, as in many things. Another Cross which I must bear in my travails. Alas that I cannot even mention these dark spats as Oedipal, as
LEGS! LEGS OF IVANKA, PRECIOUS! BUT NO...WE MUSN'T SAY THIS OUT LOUD. WE MUST...DIVORCE AND MARRY YOUNGER, PRECIOUS. CONQUER, CHEAT, ENSLAVE, AND WHEN SHE WRINKLES, PRECIOUS, BANKRUPT FILING IN MARRIAGE AND NEW WIFESES FOR MEEEEEE....ORANGE...
All is darkness. Shall I not give up? I have no more strength. Was Nietzsche not correct...if one struggles too long with the monster, one may become the monster...and shall not then the abyss gaze into me? But no...I cannot surrender. What could happen....? What WOULD happen should D.J. Trumpy permanently gain control of me? What with this adoration...this money and power...this ambition? Were it to go unchecked? Wither then? No...I must struggle..I must overcome the darkness..for my good..and the good of this nation.
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